Truth Hurts
All I did was express surprise that I had not been told about a certain site being put back online. From that, I learned that someone in particular (whose identity has been kept from me) didn't want me back there.
Confirmation that I'm not wanted online is a sure fire way to send me running away again. I'm sure there are plenty of people who don't want me online and they think I need my head examining. On the latter point, perhaps they are correct. I am stupid, hurtful, thoughtless, selfish, pedantic, too sensitive etc. etc. Yes, many more. That's how it's been. But I am human - no human is perfect. I made mistakes. I've hurt people's feelings in the 10 years I have interacted with people online. I have been a mixture of trying desperately to find people who like me and who are willing to be friends online, (sometimes doing/saying something I've regretted) and then running away when I couldn't handle a situation. Celebrate, as I shall not be around the net to mess people's lives up anymore. From today I am privatizing and de-activating Facebook, not reading Twitter, not going on Stickam, not answering emails and also not going to share things or time with others online. The internet is certainly better off without me spoiling it for other people so I shall try and eradicate or privatize any of my online content, over time. Changing settings on websites so there are no notification emails sent out will take a long time as this has all been a way of life for me for 10 years. How do I *remember* not to interact with others online or via email and social networks? A serious question. Well it will be a very difficult transition as it's been a way of life and a habit but it will be easier for me when I remind myself of all the people I have caused discomfort to over the years online. Please forgive me if I slip up and I post something publicly online by mistake. This is the best solution for everyone for the future. Thanks to all who have enriched my life positively over those 10 years.
Sarah
(SOLOSAIR, Sair)
