Sair's Lair

Sair's Flair
 

A Goodbye

I suffer with social anxiety and don't get on with others.  I am not a good person.  I am and have been nasty to people.  Therefore it follows that I should not be with people.  Having alienated myself from many people in my life - at work and on the Internet - I think it best that I discontinue my "me me me" communications both online and at work.  I have announced today that I will no longer be recording audioboos, I shall not be sending tweets and will not be going on Facebook anymore.  I'm not listening to others' boos, nor reading others' Facebook/Tweets etc. etc.  That way I will not encounter a feeling of a desire to reply.  It's just best that way - that I don't inflict myself on others anymore.  I am only going to be using the Dropvox app as a diary tool for myself which is completely private and will not be annoyingly public.

I apologise to all those people online that I have upset over the years.  Your consolation is for you to know that *I* know how bad I am and how bad I have been with all of you and am full of regrets and hatred for myself.

Complete withdrawal from communication of any sort - apart from work-related essential communication - is what I intend to implement.  It's a strategy of complete abstinence of any social communication of any kind with anyone.  No more upsetting people.

The duo who banned me from their lives were correct to do so.  Being banned has meant a great deal of heartache and soul searching as it's hard to accept being hated for ever but I do understand what I horrible person I have been and will always be and understand why I was rejected,

Having communicated myself online since 1999 there is a lot of my crap words out there but I shall not be retracing my steps to eradicate it all, so for that I am sorry too.

I MUST refrain from communicating online altogether from now on.  A hard task to remember initially but it must be done.

Bye.

Filed under  //   AudioBoo   Me   Stickam   social media   tweets   work  
Posted May 12, 2012
 

Day From Hell

Despite being in work from 7am until 5pm nearly all this week, my workload has gone right up instead of me catching up.

I went out at 06:30 this morning to be in good time for the 10 to 7 bus. It arrived, we got on, then the driver couldn't get it to go more than a yard forwards. We had to wait for the next scheduled bus arrival - not 15 minutes later as is normal because they miss one out with it being so early - so we all got off one bus and on to another at 07:20. Immediately after the bus drivers swapped buses, the replacement driver just drove off immediately on the 'broken down' one! A work colleague who got off with me and passed me on our walk from alighting the bus mumbled something about the driver not knowing what he was doing and something about the handbrake!

Upon my arriving at work (I walk slower than my colleague who went in before me) I discover that the brand new fob (key) that I was issued with yesterday would not open the door. Another worker came along shortly and told me that you have to keep swiping the fob across the reader panel repeatedly and pushing the door until it opens. Several people couldn't get in.

My working day was full of urgent work, which meant I felt pressured and worked full-on all day so now I feel exhausted.

Our Tesco groceries home delivery always arrives after work on Fridays (the only day one doesn't get substitutions because they've stocked the shelves ready for the weekend shoppers). This morning I realised I hadn't ordered my Schweppes blackcurrant cordial for drinking with my Holsten Pils lager. So after a couple of drink-free weekends and a long, hard slog of a week, I can't relax like I wanted to with a lager and black.

Here I go again, being all negative. But! It IS the weekend and my strawberry tarts arrived! There's plenty of catch-up telly to watch and I have a weekend *off* work. :-)

Filed under  //   me   work  
Posted April 27, 2012
 

Can't Work

P116

All systems down at work. I came in early to catch up after my move yesterday but can't get on. :-(

Filed under  //   snaps   work  
Posted February 2, 2012