Just Can't Manage Anymore
I just can't do things anymore. My mind tells me to do important chores but if I physically try to do them, I have to stop as I feel physically incapable, am in much discomfort and just want the work and myself to disappear. I realise now that I just can't do stuff. I just want to cry about it. I used to have such a clean, tidy, orderly life but I can no longer attain the standards I crave and this dissatisfaction with my surroundings and lack of ability to solve the problem of chaos in my home is contributing massively to my already deep depression. I don't want to rely on my daughter to deal with it all because she deserves better from me. But I just can't do it anymore. Just want it all to go away. I know it won't so I'm really just worrying every minute of every day about it. I really don't want to go on. I'm genuinely physically incapable. Someone kill me now so I don't have to be continuously in mental turmoil about it all.
